Types of People During Standardized Testing

-Inspired by IISuperwomanII

I AM NOT TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF ANYONE JUST MERELY (isn’t that such an awesome word) TRYING TO ADD A LITTLE HUMOR TO SOMETHING EVERYONE HATES. STANDARDIZE TESTING. For all of you who do not know what that is, it’s a test issued by the state you live in (mostly in the U.S., I don’t know about other places), and you have to fill in little bubbles with number 2 pencil only, and all this other ish I don’t want to talk about because the direction and rule book the teacher reads actually takes longer than the test itself.

please keep in mind that I’m guilty of almost all of these, except like two. I know you are too 😉

The Gum HoarderThis is the kid that has like, 20 packs of gum, and won’t share. Luckily, the few I’ve approached are actually really nice about it. I just smile and ask politely. It works. #youcanchangetheworldwithjustonestickofgum

This is how homeroom goes with this person:

You: Hi [insert gum hoarder’s name]! Can I have some gum? It looks like you have an extra piece or two. Please?

Gum Hoarder:  (While pushing packs of gum into backpack and spitting out current piece) What gum? I don’t see any…..

You: Well, if you find a piece, can I have some? You would be the nicest person I’ve seen today (smiles sadly and walks away in hopes the gum hoarder will share).

Gum Hoarder: (takes gum back out, and chews loudly, ignoring you on purpose, leaving you to suffer with no gum)

YOU DO NOT NEED 20 PACKS OF GUM FOR A FREAKING HOUR LONG TEST THAT CONSISTS OF FILLING IN BUBBLES!

Unless you intend on sharing 🙂 (when I remember to bring gum, I always bring extra to share. They’re going to ask me anyway, and my popularity will go from 0-100 real quick)

The Note Passers: 

These are the people, usually girls, who pass notes when they are done with their tests, and have to laugh their freaking heads off at everything their friend writes. Sadly, I have been that person, and passed the notes from friend to friend to friend. (Like this post if you’ve passed notes and have read them, even though they aren’t meant for you). Yeah, I was the middle person.

These people get so annoying, especially if you aren’t done with your test, or are trying to be in Narnia, or District 12, or wherever the heck TFIOS takes place. I’m pretty sure my friends and I have to put up with this every single day, not even on testing days. Like, please take it into the bathroom, where you can get yelled at by the teacher who’s sitting in the doorway making sure you don’t make funny faces at your best friend in the mirror while washing your hands.

The Hawk Eyed Teacher:

This is the teacher who stands in the doorway of the bathroom, making sure we don’t talk about the test while we pee or poo. Will me, a girl who cares too much about these tests want to cheat? Can’t you tell I’m trying to go as fast as I can so I can finish my test?

What about the teachers that stand in the halls during testing, asking you where you are going, just as you are about to step into the girl’s bathroom, golden hall pass in hand?

I applaud one of my friends, normally a shy girl, who stoop up to this substitute teacher who is very strict.

It might not seem much, but to me and all my quiet friends (discluding one of them, and you know who you are :)), this was a big step, especially because it was towards the scariest female teacher you will ever meet.

I know they are trying to do their jobs, but some teachers take it wayyyyyyy to far.

The Student who suddenly need to use the bathroom, and a new pencil….. and a drink of water….. and a dictionary.

I AM THIS KID SO MUCH, AND I’M SORRY THAT YOU HATE ME.

I don’t know what it is about testing, but I suddenly need to pee, and then get a drink of water. Then when I sit down to write, my pencil breaks. Then I need a dictionary.

I only find this annoying when they are making a lot of noise, and I am fully aware of how annoying I am too.

The Flick Football Boys

These are the boys who turn the extra time after a test into the freaking Super Bowl, complete with nachos and wings.

They end up taking the worksheets and other ish the testing teacher put out for us to do, and using half a roll of tape, to make a football stadium, or hockey arena, and play the game in it. It’s actually really cool sometimes, but not when I’m trying to see what Margo Roth Spiegelman (WHO’S EXCITED FOR YET ANOTHER JOHN GREEN MOVIE?!?!?!?!) is going to vandalize next, and a freaking flick football hits me in the head, or lands on my desk. It’s happened many times.

Did I miss any? Comment the ones I missed!

Comment the ones that apply to you!

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